A lot can happen in a year

So. This time last year I had a 2 week old baby….and trying to get to grips with feeding/little sleep etc. Now I have a 1 year old toddler who is just learning how to walk!! She took her first steps yesterday at SPACE, was so stoked! And she looked so pleased with herself, it was so cute. I just wish I had gotten it on camera!

 

Lets see, what else. Well I am skinnier than what I was before I got pregnant, my  mum thinks I have lost too much weight, but it’s not like I have been doing it on purpose! I’ve even had to buy some new clothes because most of my old ones don’t fit me anymore! I even fit some jeans that I wore in my last year of high school! yikes!

 

Things between DH & I are still weird and strained. We still haven’t had sex….we have only done it once when H was about 3 months old. I just don’t have the enthusiasm or anything for it…but I know it is time, and we need it if we are ever going to continue this relationship. Just have to get some decent condoms first though as I’m not on any other contraception (definately not going back on the pill again after the psycho i turned into while I was on them!) We have been doing “other things” but just not sex. Which I know is super hard on DH but I just have too much else to do and that seems like the last thing on my list all the time. Have thought about leaving so many times in the past year but I just can’t do it. There’s too much that I want to save, so we will have to start somewhere and try and get back what we used to have.

 

I really do love H so much though now. She has become super cuddly and gives me hugs all the time, and her soft toys. She is just sooooo damn cute! I’m really looking forward to starting to do a lot more cool things with her now that she is getting older. We played with paints and “gloop” at SPACE yesterday which she loved (and ate!) I need to start doing cool things like that with her at home too, lately I’ve been spending quite a bit of time on the net while she plays with her toys or watches a movie, it gives me a bit of “me time” but i feel like I’m ignoring her so I need to try and stop that a bit.

 

Still haven’t gone back to work. Still don’t want to. And I don’t think my job is really there for me anymore anyway…meh, their loss. I’m still enjoying staying at home and watching/helping H learn things, it really is so rewarding when she learns something new.

 

Sleeping is still hard. For about a week and a half around her birthday she all of a sudden started sleeping really easily and didn’t have problems with sore tummies or anything, i even weaned her off the gripe water! Then monday came. I had a chiropractor appointment for her and I REALLY SHOULD HAVE CANCELLED IT! But I didn’t…and the last couple of nights have been back to CRAP again. So not impressed. Hoping that it will get better again and she will go back to sleeping awesomely again.

 

Oh and I’m still breastfeeding her! YAY! and she STILL hasn’t had any formula, at all!! I am so fricken proud to be able to say that, and I’m going to try and feed her until she’s 2 if I am able to. I think I will have to get on top of  my eating/drinking habit though if I want to, as lately I have been very slack with drinking water and I just haven’t been very hungry. Don’t want my milk to dry up just because I haven’t been eating/drinking properly!

 

Things are likely to start getting a bit tougher soon too because DH has almost finished building the house that they are working on, and his dad doesn’t have any more decent work lined up after that…so either he’s going to have to find another job or I will have to find some sort of work. I would love to be able to make things at home and sell them, but I just don’t know if I’m creative enough. Not that I have that much spare time to actually make anything anyway! Or the money to get materials to make anything…so I might have to pick up some typing work or something, supermarket maybe as I have had experience in that. We have been selling a lot of things on Trademe lately too which is great because we are decluttering at the same time as making money! As long as we can afford to eat, pay the bills and stay in this house as long as we can would be awesome. As much as i bitch and moan about all the things wrong with this house, I do love it here. There are some really nice places I can go for a walk with H, we have good neighbours, and we have a nice house with a garden and we can pretty much do what we want here because DH’s parents are our landlords.

 

So what I would love now is a) H to start sleeping better again, and b) things to get better with DH & I. Not too much to ask for is it??

 

Well, better go and try and tidy up a bit before the munchkin wakes up. will try and post again soon.

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