So it’s now May. My due month. I’m 38 weeks today. And bubs is still breech. 😦

The ECV didn’t work, she had her head stuck up under my ribs. I was so gutted. They tried 3 times to turn her, the first two times hurt like hell but the third time I really tried hard to relax and she ALMOST turned. Now I don’t know what to do. They have given me the option of another ECV this week, but DH is basically refusing to come with me because he didn’t like it and thought it was hurting bubs. And the ECV also set off some contractions so I had to stay in hospital all day on friday and be monitored, and they almost didn’t let me go home. So he doesn’t want to come with me. Thanks for the support buddy. Had a session of acupuncture yesterday, it was all a bit airy fairy but i’m trying to keep an open mind on it. Have another appointment on thursday.

I just wish she would TURN!!! :`(

Getting so frustrated and discouraged with the whole thing. I’m doing all I can to try and turn her but she just won’t! And I know it’s probably going to end up with a ceasar. I just wish I could let it go and accept that, and try and deal with it, but it’s really hard, and I’m scared and nervous and sad that I probably won’t get to even try to have a natural birth. I don’t want to try and have her naturally while she’s breech, and they won’t let me anyway if I don’t go into labour by myself as they don’t induce breech babies. And I’ve only got 2 weeks left before she has to be out thanks to the GD. GAH! I must be pissing everyone off because it’s all I can talk about right now, but I just can’t stop thinking about it / obsessing over it!! and it’s doing my head in!

I want her to come out safely, really I do. But just for once, why can’t I get something that I want!? I know everyone says that elective ceasars are better than emergency ones, but I would at least like to TRY labour (as crazy as that may sound) because I don’t know if I want to go through all this again.

It has always been in the back of my mind that I could need a ceasar, but I just didn’t think it would come down to it like this.

I know I’m going to be really disappointed if I do have to have one. But no one can seem to understand that! Everyone’s all like “oh well maybe its for the best”, “as long as she comes out safe”. I freaking KNOW THAT! No one gets how I’m feeling!

and DH is pissing me off big time. I just wish he would pull his freaking head in and shut up and support me!!!

Last day of work on thursday, then I’m outta here. But it’s going to suck because we don’t have the net at home, so I’m not going to be able to talk to all my friends and get advice and stuff. Going to be really boring & isolated! Especially if I do end up having a ceasar…stuck at home not being able to drive, not having a phone or internet to talk to people. Gah i’m going to go crazy.

Anyway. Think thats enough ranting for now. I just hope this acupuncture works. that or the ECV. if I go ahead with it.

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One Response to Sigh.

  1. bamn2010 says:

    I KNOW how your feeling hunny!! TEXT ME!! Love and hugs, nic xx

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