So it’s my baby shower this Sunday. I invited some of my family and my friends to come, and of the rsvp’s it is mainly my family that is coming. Some of my friends aren’t able to make it (including my bestie). I know it sounds selfish and stupid, but I’m actually really gutted that they can’t come! I know that people have a lot of things going on in their own lives etc, but I get this feeling that I’m always at the bottom of people’s lists. Whenever I try and hold something like that they never show up, but other people’s parties or whatever is on, they are always there. I don’t know if I’m just not giving enough notice, or it really is too difficult for them to make it or what but it’s starting to bug me. Especially when I go out of my way to either try and make it easy for them to attend, or if it is something that they are hosting I plan everything around them so I can make it!

I just feel like no one really cares about me and that they think I won’t mind if they don’t come. But I do. We don’t have a lot of money either, just like most of my friends, but I still try and afford the gas to go to their stuff. Ok so most of them live a couple of hours drive away, but I just feel like they could at least try and make more of an effort! I went to my friend’s baby shower even though I was quite busy that particular weekend and had no money, and that was a 2 hour drive to get to.

I don’t know, the more I type the more selfish it sounds, but I can’t help the way I feel can I?

And every time that they come home to see their parents for the weekend or for holidays etc I never seem to get told that they are coming, so obviously they don’t really want to catch up with me even though we only see each other a couple of times a year. I actually have to ask them when they are coming and try and organise something myself if I want to see them. Or else it’s up to me to go and visit them! Every time we go to Tauranga we go and see my bestie, yet she can’t drive the 30 mins from her mums, or the 10 mins from her inlaws to come and say hi to me when she is up here? Its not like i’m asking them to spend the whole day with me, even just a hi how you doing would be nice. It’s like we always always have to go and see other people and they never come see us. We have our own house, we don’t mind having visitors! I can probably count on my hand over the four years we have lived in our house the number of visitors we have had. 😦

I just wish I had more friends that lived up here, I don’t really have anyone and it gets really lonely sometimes. I just want to have big girly chats like we used to, or even just go out for a walk with someone. Someone other than DH. My closest friend lives about 40 minutes away, we were best best friends all the way from when we were 5 until right at the end of high school when we had a bit of a falling out and didn’t talk to each other for a year or so, we are friends again now (she’s actually organising part of my baby shower) but it’s different to how it used to be, she has changed so much since then.

I don’t know. It’s just disappointing. Sigh.

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2 Responses to Disappointment

  1. bamn2010 says:

    Hugs hunny, im in this boat too, infact felt like venting that frustration myself as i read yours!…most of my GOOD FRIENDS are online friends as they are a way away (LIKE YOU) LOL but if i was anywhere near yours i would totally make an effort to come or at least have a dam good reason not too!
    Half the people that said they were coming to mine never showed either, not a text to say they werent coming or anything, some to this day still havnt even contacted me…proves who cares the most though!

    I too wish i had more friends, i can count probably 3 good mates…IRL that is but 2 out of 3 live about 2hours away, the other 5 mins lol which i see alot of…i think the mummy groups help though, try joining a group like SPACE in your area, we have a couple of late preggos coming and will eventually come with their babes…even though its once a week its the same women and those women have babies! our friends without kids just dont get it!
    GOOD LUCK! and Happy Baby Shower to you

  2. wigglyjiggly says:

    Hey, I know this is a bit belated but only just read your blog hehe (it’s Lisa) 🙂 I also could have written this. We are the same age I think and seem to have followed similar paths- married youngish, baby young. My 3 closest girlfriends from school have gone overseas on OE’s and they don’t have immediate plans to come back. I have always made good friends at work, uni etc but I have found that once said work or uni or whatever is done with, they don’t make the effort to catch up afterwards when you are no longer part of eachothers lives regularly. I didn’t have a baby shower- I didn’t want to have to have a small one and I hoped someone would organise it but they didn’t. I have lots of close family especially my sister, a close friend who lives about an hour away but we still meet as much as we can, friends online and a few friends I have become close with since having Noah who have babies the same age, but I do really miss having a ‘best friend’ who has been there through more of my life. I did have a best friend from 4th form through to two years ago and we were like sisters but we fell out as she was going out with an asshole of a guy, and unfortunately she chose the guy when I expressed concerns. Since then I have really missed that. I find meeting new friends as a Mum is easier but it feels like dating as you have to put yourself out there and hope you don’t get rejected, hehe and even coffee groups kind of split off as people figure out who they have more in common with. Being my age also I find most Mums I know are in their 30s. I know what you mean- sometimes you just need a good girly chat, I mean even if you love your DH to bits, who are you going to talk to about him- not him of course! lol sometimes you need a good chat/vent/girly catchup. I totally understand how you feel. I have tried to get out there as much as possible since having Noah but we only have one car at the moment and so during the day I have no transport which makes it far more challenging. I hope things improve now bubs is here and you make some mummy friends 🙂

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