So it’s my baby shower this Sunday. I invited some of my family and my friends to come, and of the rsvp’s it is mainly my family that is coming. Some of my friends aren’t able to make it (including my bestie). I know it sounds selfish and stupid, but I’m actually really gutted that they can’t come! I know that people have a lot of things going on in their own lives etc, but I get this feeling that I’m always at the bottom of people’s lists. Whenever I try and hold something like that they never show up, but other people’s parties or whatever is on, they are always there. I don’t know if I’m just not giving enough notice, or it really is too difficult for them to make it or what but it’s starting to bug me. Especially when I go out of my way to either try and make it easy for them to attend, or if it is something that they are hosting I plan everything around them so I can make it!
I just feel like no one really cares about me and that they think I won’t mind if they don’t come. But I do. We don’t have a lot of money either, just like most of my friends, but I still try and afford the gas to go to their stuff. Ok so most of them live a couple of hours drive away, but I just feel like they could at least try and make more of an effort! I went to my friend’s baby shower even though I was quite busy that particular weekend and had no money, and that was a 2 hour drive to get to.
I don’t know, the more I type the more selfish it sounds, but I can’t help the way I feel can I?
And every time that they come home to see their parents for the weekend or for holidays etc I never seem to get told that they are coming, so obviously they don’t really want to catch up with me even though we only see each other a couple of times a year. I actually have to ask them when they are coming and try and organise something myself if I want to see them. Or else it’s up to me to go and visit them! Every time we go to Tauranga we go and see my bestie, yet she can’t drive the 30 mins from her mums, or the 10 mins from her inlaws to come and say hi to me when she is up here? Its not like i’m asking them to spend the whole day with me, even just a hi how you doing would be nice. It’s like we always always have to go and see other people and they never come see us. We have our own house, we don’t mind having visitors! I can probably count on my hand over the four years we have lived in our house the number of visitors we have had. 😦
I just wish I had more friends that lived up here, I don’t really have anyone and it gets really lonely sometimes. I just want to have big girly chats like we used to, or even just go out for a walk with someone. Someone other than DH. My closest friend lives about 40 minutes away, we were best best friends all the way from when we were 5 until right at the end of high school when we had a bit of a falling out and didn’t talk to each other for a year or so, we are friends again now (she’s actually organising part of my baby shower) but it’s different to how it used to be, she has changed so much since then.
I don’t know. It’s just disappointing. Sigh.